by 
I was the first of all my close friends to get pregnant and to say it was terrifying would be a huge understatement. All my life I had dreamed about starting a family, but when the stick showed two faint pink lines, the anxiety began to creap in. I was going to be a mommy. What had I gotten myself into?
Based on my medical background, I had a pretty good idea what to expect during pregnancy and child birth, but no amount of Clin Med lectures or OB/GYN rotations could have prepared me for motherhood.
I used to say I wish I had someone to tell me the truths about motherhood before I actually became a mother, but the truth is, I probably wouldn’t have listened… or maybe I just wouldn’t have really gotten it.
Motherhood is one of those you-dont-know-what-it-is-like-until-you-are-going-through-it situations. It is one of those times when you look back on your life pre-baby and think “Gosh, I thought I knew what it was going to be like, but boy was I wrong!” You’ve hear about poopy diapers, sleepless nights, and no longer being able to go out to the bar every weekend. But just like labor and delivery, there are the unspoken and messy truths that the books don’t prepare you for.
Your friendships will change. Not necessarily in a bad way, but they will change.
Your relationship with your husband will change. Not only will he be ‘the man in your life’ but he will also become the father to your children and therefore a ‘Daddy.’ He will undoubtedly continue to drive you crazy with his inability to load this dishwasher, but your heart will soar when you watch him attempt pigtails and when you hear him softly hum “O’ Canada” as he rocks the baby to sleep.
Every decision regarding your baby will be shadowed with “mommy guilt”. You will feel guilty about the smallest and most likely the most insignificant aspects of your child’s daily life… and you will be powerless to stop it.
You will have a love/hate relationship with your body. You will be amazed that you were able to carry a child for 9 months and on your good days you will sport the stretch marks and loose skin like badges of honor. Other days you’ll yearn for your pre-baby body and you will want to slap past you for not fully appreciating that body before.
Your clothes that were once fashionable, a reflection of who you were and a means of expressing your individuality, will now be used as a Kleenex and burp rag. You won’t think twice about wiping a baby’s runny nose with your sleeve. Don’t bother spending money on expensive clothes.
If you are desperate, you won’t think twice about catching your child’s vomit in your bare hands.
Hearing a child throw a temper tantrum in the grocery store or whine incessantly as his mother completely ignores him, will no longer irritate the hell out of you. Instead you will pity the mother and find yourself being so grateful that for once, it isn’t your child.
You will worry. You will worry about everything. Every news story, every car accident on your commute to work, every ambulance siren will give you goosebumps as you wonder “What if that were my child?” Your head will spin with the numerous “what-if’s?”
No matter how much you swear to yourself that your child will always eat healthy foods, somedays hot dogs and macaroni and cheese are a valid food group.
You can try your absolute hardest to not let your baby dictate your lifestyle, but it is inevitable. You might as well surrender now. My husband and I fought this battle with the utmost intensity. If we needed to go grocery shopping… nap time would have to wait. If we wanted to go out to dinner at 7pm, baby came with us. If we wanted an impromptu weekend away, baby was packed into the car for a 6 hour car ride. We had hoped that our child would eventually adapt to our lifestyle, but instead we ended up with a fussy child and frustrated parents who finally had to concede that this was her world and we were just living in it.
You will succumb to “not my child” syndrome. (Don’t lie, you know you’ve done it) When you are pregnant you are suddenly aware of other parents and their techniques. You watch them closely and scribble mental notes…
“My child will not _____”
“When Im a mother, I will not ___.”
Whatever you think you won’t do as a parent, you probably will.
You will never go to the bathroom in peace again. You will either have an audience, tiny fingers sticking under the door asking “Momma, are you peeeeeing or poooooping?” or you’ll be nervous that the noises that were coming from outside are now quiet. Too quiet.
Date night with your hubby? You’ll be worried that the babysitter wasn’t able to get her to sleep.
Girls night out? You’ll be swapping potty training stories… or wishing you could discuss it without sounding so pathetic for having nothing else to talk about.
An hour at the gym? You’ll look at the 22 year old next to you on the treadmill and will be suddenly aware of the extra tummy jiggle your baby bestowed upon you.
the moment you have a baby, you will realize how much love was missing from your life.
There are no words to describe how much love you have in your heart for your child. You will go to the end of the earth to make them happy and to the moon to stop their pain. Your heart will melt with every “I wuv you Momma”… even if they were testing your patience just 2 minutes before. You may be sleep deprived and yearning for a complete nights rest, but the moments you spend at 3 o’clock in the morning, rocking your baby to sleep, watching her eyelashes flutter as she drifts off to sleep are the moments you will cherish and lock away in your heart for safe keeping.
Lillian Paige
…And just when you think your heart can’t possibly hold enough love for another child, the moment that second baby is born your heart grows in size (Think: How the Grinch Stole Christmas when “his heart grew three times that day”) and the amount of love your heart was once capable of holding, multiplies.
Charlotte Renee
Motherhood may be overwhelming, unpredictable, and challenging… but the best things in life usually are.
